Foreign. Philosophy.

About

Ultraviolence.

If you live in Melbourne, come to Bok Bok and L-Vis tomorrow at Revolver Upstairs.

XXYYXX is playing on Friday the 23rd of March at Liberty Social, which you should also come to.

I don’t know anyone here so meeting people would be great.

-Cam

People liken difficulty in life to the current and the waves of the ocean crashing down on us, becoming smoothed as we stand there like stones, losing our definition. “I’ve lost part of me,” people say, as though trials have made them smaller. 

But those thoughts are brutish and linear; they are the thoughts of broken spirits, smashing against every wave in stubborn defiance, while their feet resist the push and pull of the current. We are free to move to calmer seas, where there are less waves; to recognise their patterns, and to dance through them as they come. You can’t defeat the ocean, you can endure it with your chin up and your chest out as it erodes you. Or you can learn to move with it, and remain whole.

It was as though the most he could do lately was remember dreams. Faces had begun to blur and words would evaporate like the moisture expelled from so many mouths around him.

Finally, everyone’s masks had fallen and all the vibrations that had previously been kept inside began to reach out to him. They collided with fatty cheek bones, stretched on the bony shoulders of a woman he’d dreamed of, and come to embrace him as he shook, resisting their momentum. They spilled about him as if oceans were undulating through him, beyond his will. They called him, thrumming like the loosed bows of ancient armies.

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Me: You don’t love me anymore, after 9 months of saying you love me every day? 

Me: I’m a fit, intelligent guy, I make you laugh, I’m caring and considerate, I have a great group of friends, I’m well-groomed, I am very positive, I like to travel and I love having fun. I don’t do drugs, I don’t hit or yell at women, I never cheat, I spent a lot of time with your family and friends, I took care of you through your depression and anxiety, I love kids and animals, almost all the same music, clothes, books, movies, dance, TV shows and art as you, plus I can produce most of those things to a decent standard (AKA I have some talent).

Me: We get along great and I’ve never done anything to hurt you, so why don’t you love me? It would all be easier to accept if I understood it but it really makes no sense.

Her: I don’t know, sometimes things don’t have reasons. Please leave me alone. Bye.

This is the recent shit I’ve been going through. It’s like a bad TV soap opera I’ve been struggling to recover from, thanks to not understanding how this could happen. Whatever the case, I know I have a lot of value, and it takes a lot of denial to throw it away like this. I thought I was done with it but there is just too much wrong with the situation. I know this is gonna leave a hell of a scar.

Sorry to share on this blog but it might help followers understand my recent post quality and themes, plus it’s always good to vent. It’ll pick up soon, when I feel better, I promise. :)

Thanks for understanding <3
-Cam

If you are not thankful then I don’t know what you are.

- Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (via malevia)

Jill Meagher was killed recently. I saw someone I knew on the news from my time studying film at university. I hadn’t spoken to him for some time and I just found out it was my friend’s sister. I’ve been dealing with a painful breakup recently, feeling like I lost a loved one, but in light of this I feel pathetic. I’m posting here to send my support out publicly, as a ritual, as well as explain any posts which may disrupt the “theme” of the blog.

They always say life is short, but we are fragile creatures. Make sure you take care of yourselves, your loved ones, and enjoy every moment you have the chance to. I send you all my love, and thank you for understanding.

-Cam

^